


It's Hard to Get By Just Upon A Smile

by jane_x80



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode: s07e01 Truth or Consequences, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-19 16:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17005275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jane_x80/pseuds/jane_x80
Summary: Ziva David is upset that her own father is up to his usual mind games, and wishes that she could be assured of Gibbs' love for her. After all, if Abby was his favorite, then could she not be his second favorite? A surrogate sister to Abby, perhaps? Although if Gibbs keeps choosing Tony over her, then she might need to rethink her strategy in order to not lose her place in Gibbs' family.ForDay 16 of the Happy Holidays Challenge on LiveJournal, the theme is Family. A story in collaboration with Red_Pink_Dots and her artwork.





	It's Hard to Get By Just Upon A Smile

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Art for It’s Hard to Get by Just Upon a Smile](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17000469) by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots). 



> This story started out as a prompt from ma tres cherie, [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots) as an idea she floated by me last year, for last year's Family theme in last year's happy holidays challenge. But we worked on so many stories last year that I ended up not having the energy to write this story. So when we decided to see if we could team up again this year, RPD sent me the picture that she had originally prompted me with for this theme last year, and we discussed the plot further, and lo and behold, muse decided she would write the story this year! So here we are! :D
> 
> The fabulous artwork is of course by RPD!
> 
> The music I listened to was [Wild World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHXpnZi9Hzs&feature=youtu.be) by Cat Stevens. Even the song was a suggestion from RPD so I feel I cannot take credit for this fic! :D Oh, also the title of the fic comes from a line in the song.
> 
> This story takes place after s07e01 Truth and Consequences, so be warned that there may be some references/spoilers to it in the story.

[](https://i.imgur.com/ufADvpu.png)

Ziva David had no idea why everyone was so fucking happy that it was the holidays. She was far away from her father who was now her only living relative, and she had called him every day of Hanukkah so far, only managing to leave him voicemail messages. She had stopped leaving him a message after the third day, but she still could not stop herself from calling him. Even though it felt like an insult that Eli kept not picking up. She had heard through the grapevine that he was busy with work, but it was not as if he had been kidnapped or injured or somehow physically unable to answer the phone when she called and just speak to her for two minutes. She would stop calling him then.

A small part of her wondered if perhaps Eli did this on purpose, to ensure that she knew that she still wore the metaphorical leash he had put around her neck all those years ago. If maybe this was his way of exerting power on him, to see how many days she would go before she stopped attempting to get in touch with him. Maybe more than just a small part of her wondered this. Maybe she did know what he was up to. He was the one who had trained her, after all.

Because this was what he always did. And then, the day after she stopped calling him, he would call back and lay the guilt on her. And if it was all the way up to the twelfth day, he would finally answer and pretend as if he had not received any of her messages or seen her missed calls. It was just what he did. Ziva could never win with him. Everything was always a mind game and Ziva was always on the losing end of these games, less so when her mother had been alive, but still.

It was exhausting and it was depressing. She did not have the kind of patience for this sort of thing from anyone, let alone her own father. But this was how he had always been. When her mother had been alive, he had not been quite so diabolical in his attempts to control her and manipulate her, somehow getting her to do his bidding without actually ever verbalizing the order. Back then, he had tried not to show his wife the extent to which he was affecting Ziva. It had been like an intimate little secret between them, do not tell Imah of the little projects that Abba had for her. A father-daughter bonding thing, just between them. And how eager she had been to please him. Trying to carry out her assignments, and guessing the actual task that her father was asking her to complete that was hidden in the seemingly mundane errand that he had asked her to run.

But she was all grown up now. She had seen how she had been brushed aside so easily by him, time and again. It had become depressingly clear that he had not ever thought her important enough to truly make time for her, never ever stopping with the ridiculous mind games. Always needing to have the upper hand, even with his only surviving child. And this year, she was too tired for his not too subtle way of obtaining her submission. She had only been rescued from Somalia a few months before. A rescue that had been carried out by her NCIS team mates even after she had almost gotten Tony killed because of her relationship with Michael Rivkin, who she could not help but suspect had been ordered to sleep with her by her own father. He had been secretly doing her father’s bidding here on US soil, unbeknownst even to her, as he had claimed to be in the country only to see her. Then he had forced the issue, she knew it now, that Michael had been responsible for the situation where he basically forced Tony to kill him. Kill or be killed. And in the end, if he had not triumphed over Michael, then Tony would not have been the one to rescue her from Somalia, after her own father had decided to send her to her death. Because Michael would have killed him without remorse, unlike Tony’s reaction to the entire situation. But even after that, the MCRT had come after her, even though Gibbs had chosen Tony over her when she forced him into making that decision. Because Mossad had abandoned her.

Her father’s disappointment in her had been palpable when Gibbs had left her behind. He had only been too happy to assign her to a mission that had a low likelihood of survival, and after she had disappeared in the shipwreck, he had not even tried to look for her. She knew it. So why was she still the one who kept calling him and calling him for Hanukkah when obviously she meant so little to him?

And now, she was just tired of it all. Tired of the fact that nobody, not even her own father, ever chose _her_ first. Gibbs, who she could not help but think of as a father, Gibbs had chosen Tony over her. And she knew, in her heart of hearts, whatever happened, Gibbs would always choose Tony over her. Tony was more of a son to him than she was a daughter to him. Ziva did not even want to think about how Abby was that much more of a daughter to Gibbs than she could ever be. And yet, she was more of a daughter to Gibbs than she could ever truly be to her own father. She had no doubt that her own father would choose _anybody_ over her. And at this point, there really was not anyone else in her life to fulfill that paternal role. Any role, really, where she would always come first for that person.

Ziva sneered to herself as she watched the staff of NCIS, all of them looking happy and joyful, at the NCIS Holiday Party. There was a Christmas tree, a menorah, kwanza type items all together, all inclusive. A true holiday celebration, so no one would feel left out. And yet, Ziva still felt as if she was on the outside looking in. She was now a probationary NCIS agent and not Mossad anymore, and still she did not feel as if she belonged.

She kept her sharp, brown eyes focused on Tony, and she kept drinking the cheap champagne they were serving. Tony was, as always, so bright and so unbelievably beautiful, flitting along from person to person, group to group. He just always fit in so smoothly, no matter the situation. The baggy bunnies laughed with him, and he made the other agents laugh at him, and he smiled and smiled. Tony was a natural people person, while she, Ziva, had to work at it. She had always been much better at killing and seduction than being a friend, while Tony seemed to know everyone and be friends or at least, friendly with everyone. That was not one of Ziva’s talents.

Tony had been one of the first nails in the coffin of her relationship with Eli David. Her assignment after getting placed on the MCRT, was to seduce Tony and get him on her side. She had already wormed her way into Gibbs’ heart with having to kill her own half brother to save Gibbs. That helped her greatly. But Tony had been a mystery. They always flirted with each other, and she felt that there was always much unresolved sexual tension between them. But every time it seemed like she was getting close to any kind of intimacy with him, he would dance away from her, more cautious and skittish than a baby camel. She had not succeeded in getting him into her bed and binding him to her by using sex and her body, and her father had not been pleased every time she reported back that the plan to seduce Tony DiNozzo had not yet succeeded.

Then of course, she had to develop _feelings_ for him. Which he clearly did not reciprocate. Luckily, now, her feelings had mellowed out somewhat. She knew that at the very least, she could count on Tony to be her friend. That he would be there for her, help her if she needed help. He was just that kind of person. He had led the charge to rescue her even though he was not in love with her.

Oh, Ziva knew that people speculated about them, given how they tended to behave around each other, but she and Tony had never even kissed, unless they were doing undercover work. There was banter, there was flirtation sometimes excessive flirtation, but there was now also friendship, and with that friendship, a kind of intimacy that she had never experienced with another man. But there was never anything more than that. And if people were to judge who Tony was in a sexual relationship with by who he flirted with, then the answer would be _everybody_. Because Tony was an impossible flirt. He flirted with everyone. He probably flirted with inanimate objects just because he had that kind of engine mouthed personality, he even spoke to his things. So yes, he flirted with everyone and everything. God, just look at how he was batting his stupidly long eyelashes at Gibbs, of all people.

Ziva was drinking steadily now, and keeping her eyes on Tony. He was standing with Gibbs and Ducky now, Ducky laughing with him, and even Gibbs was quirking his lips in that crooked grin that meant that, if he were anybody else but Gibbs, he would be laughing his buttocks off. Tony was looking pleased with himself for eliciting that response out of their gruff and grumpy team lead. Ziva kept watching them, waiting for it. Waiting for it. It was coming. She knew it was.

Aaaaaand there it was.

Gibbs’ predictable reaction of the slap to the back of Tony’s head. Tony yelped and pouted at Gibbs. Also, incredibly predictable. Ziva wondered why it was Tony never even _tried_ to avoid saying things that would result in the Gibbs slap, or even just avoiding the slap itself. If, even as drunk as she was becoming, she could see that Gibbs was about to smack him, then surely Tony who could work a crowd like an expert could see it, too. Surely he could avoid it, if he had wanted to. Which led her to believe that perhaps Tony _did not_ want to avoid it. Which was another, different, and perhaps more interesting question altogether.

And then, something else happened. This was something Ziva had never seen before.

Gibbs’ fingers _lingered_ momentarily at the back of Tony’s head, gently grabbing the short strands of hair and then moving downwards to Tony’s neck where those same fingers kneaded the nape of his neck with soft, gentle movements. The way Gibbs had patted her back after she had just been removed from Saleem Ulman’s compound, as if he was genuinely glad to see her and get her back. But Tony had not even had any close calls lately, so why was Gibbs being so affectionate with him?

And Tony was leaning right into the hand, looking like a cat that was being scratched behind the ear, eyes closed, smile wide and pleased, the pout already forgotten. Gibbs waited for him to open his eyes again before bestowing him a real smile. One of the rare, genuine smiles that was not a smirk or a quirk, or an amused huff or a rolled eyes put upon yes enough ok don’t make me kill you smile. A real one, where his eyes crinkled and his normally icy blue eyes warmed up, and it made Gibbs look warm and approachable and affectionate.

Ziva’s eyes narrowed and she poured herself more to drink. It was understood that Abby was Gibbs’ favorite. Ziva had learned the hard way that there was no way she could compete for that title with someone like Abby. But what the hell was _this_ behavior about? Did Gibbs have a favorite on the team? And was that favorite _Tony_?

Ziva’s heart sank even lower. Gibbs loved Tony like the son he never had. Even though it should have been easier for someone like her, a woman who was not that much older than the daughter that he had tragically lost all those years ago, to worm her way into Gibbs’ good graces, it was still _Tony_ who won in that competition. And Tony probably had not even known that there was a competition. Why was it never Ziva who was picked first?

She kept her eyes on Tony as he moved away from Gibbs and Ducky, Gibbs’ fingers lingering on his shoulder and moving down Tony’s arm as walked away, as if he did not want to lose that point of contact with the man. A stab of jealousy went through Ziva, pooling in the depths of her belly. It was an ugly feeling and she hated it, but there it was. Gibbs had chosen a favorite on the team. Why she was surprised that it was Tony, she did not know. After all Gibbs had repeatedly chosen him over her. Why would anything be different at this point?

Perhaps her problem was that she had never aligned herself to the correct person? Her father was obviously not the correct person. Michael had not even truly been her boyfriend. Michael had been a relationship that her father had engineered without her knowledge. So Michael had also not been the correct person to love. But Gibbs was. Gibbs was the father that she should have had. He loved her and she knew this not because of any empty words, but because of his actions towards her. He had always been protective of her, and he and the team had rescued her when her own biological father had refused. So yes, she felt as if Gibbs was her true father. But if Tony was the son that Gibbs always wanted, then perhaps the way into Gibbs’ heart was through Tony? Instead of pushing Tony aside and presenting herself as the candidate to be Abby’s surrogate sister, she needed to present herself as a true partner to Tony. Perhaps she should settle, and be resigned to be Gibbs’ daughter in law?

Ziva thought about this more as Tony continued to work the room. The party was in a beautiful setting this year, at Ducky’s house. He had volunteered the ballroom in his house for the location of the NCIS Holiday Party that year. The catering was all NCIS specific so the food and refreshments were not exactly as high class as the location, but nobody seemed to be complaining about it. Everyone seemed to be in a happy mood.

Ziva kept drinking and watching Tony and she saw several times how Gibbs was being openly nice to him. Soft touches, smiles exchanged. Tony was most definitely the favorite now. It contrasted greatly with how McGee was with Gibbs. Ziva shook her head at the awkwardness that still was evident every time McGee interacted with Gibbs in a social setting.

She squared her shoulders. Yes. She had to present herself to Gibbs as a viable daughter in law candidate, and that way she could perhaps share in the love that Gibbs seemed to have for Tony. Because what if this new favoritism bled into the workplace? Ziva knew that even though Gibbs had come to rescue her, he had not been pleased at how Tony had been treated prior to the incident with Michael, and certainly after, when her father had insisted Tony be interrogated in Israel. Would this mean that she would be the low man on the totem pole on the MCRT? Would Gibbs keep her on the team or kick her out, since her usefulness would have been reduced now that she was no longer Mossad? Besides, she was the one who had rejected Gibbs and made him choose, and she was the one who had refused to be part of the MCRT if Tony was part of it. How would that affect her standing on the team in the long run? She did not know.

She had no other family now, but the MCRT. She could not lose them. Her position felt precarious, so she needed to take action and solidify her place on the team. Clearly, her way in was through Tony.

Even though he had resisted all of her earlier efforts to seduce him, she knew that she could still do it. She was after all, the best that Mossad had, despite her father’s recent treatment of her. She was genuinely fond of him, and she did use to have feelings for him. It would not be difficult to fall back in love with him, because despite his supposed immaturity, Ziva had seen him at his best. Tony was much more than he pretended to be, and he counted on being underestimated. She finally understood that about him during the op that they had undertaken to rescue her from Ulman’s clutches. Even under the influence of the truth serum he had not caved and stayed true to the personality that he chose to present to the world, the happy go lucky frat boy. Such that Ulman had fallen for it and that had been his downfall.

During the flight home from Somalia, Gibbs had been protective of Tony, too, not allowing anyone else near him, not even McGee, and not allowing anyone to take advantage of Tony’s vulnerable drugged state to ask him anything. He had stayed close to Tony to ensure Tony’s safety while Ziva was treated by the medics aboard the plane.

Perhaps if Ziva showed Tony the feelings that she had, perhaps he would reciprocate? She had thought that he had had feelings for her at times in the past. He had petitioned for the whole op to Somalia, even before they realized she was still alive. They could build on that and perhaps be happy together. It was not an impossibility, if Ziva was willing to stop hiding things from Tony and vice versa.

Before she set off down the path to Tony though, she needed to shore up her confidence first by getting a proper Gibbs hug. She made her way to him, and without prompting, he held her arms open to her and pulled her close, hugging her tight. She put her arms around him and held on, never wanting to let go. She pressed herself into him, wanting his warmth and his love, wanting his approval. Things that Eli had never been able to fully give her. They stayed together for a long while, before finally, Gibbs kissed her temple and pulled away.

“What was that for, Gibbs?” Ziva could not stop herself from asking.

“Looked like you needed it,” Gibbs did that thing where only his eyes were smiling even though the rest of his face did not.

Ziva smiled back. He was a good man and a good father. His daughter would never know how lucky she was to have someone like him as a father.

“You good now?” he continued.

She nodded and her smile widened. “Better.”

“Good. Lay off the booze, huh? Don’t need you driving home drunk.”

“Your warning may be a little too late,” Ziva giggled a little, realizing just how much she had already drunk.

Gibbs shook his head. “I’m sure one of us will drive you home later.”

Ziva took that to be permission so she gulped down a couple more glasses of champagne before she spotted Tony walking away from the buffet alone for once. She went straight for him.

“Tony,” she greeted him, giving him the smile that had won the hearts of oh so many marks, and positioned her body such that her breasts were thrust outwards.

“Oh, hey, Zi-vah,” Tony smiled easily at her. “Are you having a good time?”

Ziva shrugged. “It is all right.”

“Well this is your first NCIS holiday party as an NCIS agent – albeit probationary,” Tony was putting food in his mouth and waving to people who were walking by.

Ziva took a step forward and insinuated her body into his, ensuring that her perky breasts brushed the inside of Tony’s arm and his chest. “I wish to speak to you about something serious.”

Tony had stopped mid-chew, his expression one of shock and surprise. “Uhhhh,” he tried to step back but Ziva moved with him, refusing to allow him to distance himself from her. “Ziva, I think you may be a little too drunk to have any kind of a serious conversation with anyone right now.”

Ziva snorted. “I am fully aware of what I am doing, and I would be doing the same thing even if I had not had anything to drink.” The little hiccup that escaped her might have undone her words a little, but it was not a disaster.

“Somehow I don’t think so,” Tony was scrambling backwards, trying to distance himself. “Look, Ziva…”

Ziva moved her hand down and pinched Tony’s ass, making him yelp and jump away. There was no way he would mistake that for anything other than the interest that she was putting forth.

“Seriously,” Tony’s eyes were wide and frightened and he looked around. “I think you’ve had quite enough to drink and I’m going to see if McGee will drive you home.”

“I would rather _you_ drove me home tonight, Tony,” Ziva’s tone was silken, her voice a low, throaty purr.

“Uh, right,” Tony shook his head. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please, Tony, take me home tonight…” How open did Ziva have to be to get Tony to take her home and to bed? For someone who was reputedly the office slut, he was really resisting her.

“DiNozzo,” Gibbs’ voice made them both jump and Tony’s face flushed a deep red.

“I didn’t do anything, Boss!” The statement was an automatic denial, and Ziva could not help but agree. Tony had not done anything, even though she had wanted him to.

There was a moment where Gibbs and Tony exchanged facial expressions and it was a whole conversation that Ziva could not follow. Even worse than when Gibbs and Abby spoke in sign language, the way that he and Tony seemed to be able to communicate non verbally with the slightest of quirks of their faces was legendary. She had not been able to understand it in the several years that she had been on the MCRT.

Finally, Tony sighed, nodded and moved away, although Ziva noted that again, Gibbs reached out and squeezed his hand as he moved away. There was that physical proof that Gibbs absolutely preferred Tony over her.

“Why do you love him more than you love me?” Ziva asked, tears pooling in her eyes.

Hearing this, Tony turned back, but whatever he might have seen in Gibbs’ face made him nod, turn around, and keep moving away, snagging Tim and Abby who were approaching, and dragging them both away with him.

“Let’s go,” Gibbs took her arm, and guided her to where all the coats were stored. He bundled her up efficiently and pushed her into the passenger seat of his truck.

Ziva had never felt so small and so guilty. Gibbs’ anger was silent but she could feel it. She had displeased him. All she wanted was to be loved. If Tony loved her, then Gibbs would as well. She knew it.

“I am sorry, Gibbs,” she sniffled, feeling tears roll down her face now. “I do not know what to do with myself now. You are the only one who loves me, but you love Tony more. He is a son to you more than I am a daughter to you.”

Gibbs sighed. He backed out of the parking space and started driving away from Ducky’s elegant mansion. “Ziver,” he said softly, and the tears fell even quicker from Ziva’s eyes. Gibbs’ mispronounciation of her name, once an annoyance to her, was now an affectionate nickname of sorts for her. The way Gibbs called Tony ‘Skippy’ or other annoying nicknames, and of course, McGee had all his McNicknames even though they originated with Tony, they had all picked up on it. “We’re a family. You know that, right?”

Ziva nodded. Because she did know that. But she also knew that there was a ranking, a hierarchy of sorts. Abby, then Tony, then perhaps McGee before her. “I know,” she sniffed. “But you love Abby best.”

“Everyone loves her best,” Gibbs gave her a gentle smile. “Wanna tell me what’s really wrong?”

Ziva covered her face and began sobbing. “My father will not answer when I call, even though it is Hanukkah,” she wailed.

Gibbs sighed and a hand kneaded her shoulder.

“He does not love me,” she hiccupped on. “He just _uses_ me. You do not!”

Gibbs hushed her gently, and hurriedly stopped the car. He pulled her close and hugged her as tightly as he could across the gear box, allowing her to let all her tears of frustration and anger out. Finally, her tears stopped. Gibbs handed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose, laughing softly with embarrassment.

“You’re coming home with me tonight. Tomorrow morning, when you’re calm and sober, you, me and Tony are gonna talk,” Gibbs told her, gesturing for her to keep the handkerchief, while he looked in the rearview and inserted himself back into the flow of traffic.

That night, Ziva slept, tucked snugly in Gibbs’ guest bedroom. When she came downstairs the next morning, she found that Gibbs was chopping what looked to be vegetables while Tony was flipping pancakes, both of them working comfortably around each other in Gibbs’ kitchen.

“Coffee?” Tony offered her as he opened a cabinet and reached for a mug.

“Please,” she whispered. “And quietly.” Her head was pounding. Apparently cheap champagne, when drunk in copious quantities, was enough to give her a massive hangover.

Tony’s laugh was loud and happy.

“I hate you,” she murmured.

“No, you don’t,” Tony’s smile was easy, although he did speak quietly now. He poured her coffee and handed it to her, shooing her to sit at Gibbs’ kitchen table. He returned to flipping pancakes.

Ziva sipped her coffee and watched in silence as the two men worked together. Once Gibbs was done chopping vegetables and what looked like leftover steak, Tony started making omelets. Their movements in the kitchen were just as practiced as their movements in the field. They were aware of each other, and there was a trust there that spoke of years of working together. Which meant that they had been cooking together for a period of time as well. Ziva had never known that Tony was that close to Gibbs. Perhaps Mossad’s original intel had been spotty. Perhaps Tony was the one that was closest to Gibbs’ heart, not Abby, and not Kate?

Gibbs set the table and one by one, Tony handed him plates of the perfect omelet. Gibbs’ had steak and a few vegetables that Tony had snuck in there, despite Gibbs’ glare. Ziva’s had vegetables with some steak, just like Tony’s. Gibbs brought the platter of pancakes and Tony grabbed syrup out of Gibbs’ freezer and handed it to him, neither man even looking at the other as they completed the moves. When Tony turned the burners off, they settled down at the table and all three started eating.

Ziva could not help but feel as if she was marching to her own execution, for some reason. Tony was closer to Gibbs than anyone had ever expected. Even though the omelet was one of the best, cheesiest, most well made omelet she had ever been served, she cut her food and chewed woodenly, expecting for Gibbs to explain to her why she was no longer needed on the MCRT.

Gibbs stared at her for a long time as he ate, before Tony finally rolled his eyes and blew out a long breath.

“Ziva, I think we need to clear something up,” he started.

“You are Gibbs’ favorite, and not Abby,” Ziva nodded, swallowing the mouthful which felt like lead in her belly. “That much is quite clear.”

“Well…” Tony hesitated. “It’s really not comparable. I think we need to clarify the relationship that Gibbs and I have.”

“And what is that?” Ziva asked grumpily. She was hungover, had made a fool of herself in front of the entire NCIS, and was about to get kicked off her team. She was not seeing the golden lining at this point in time.

“I don’t think of Tony as my son. Believe me when I say that,” Gibbs growled. “Abby’s my favorite, she’s like a daughter to me.”

“I know that,” Ziva muttered.

“You’re also like a daughter to me.”

Ziva’s head shot up and she met Gibbs’ eyes, wanting to see for herself if he was telling her the truth. There was nothing but sincerity, fondness, and perhaps even love in his expression. He smiled at her, and patted her hand.

“I lost my girls a long time ago, but I have you and Abs now,” he continued.

“What about Tony?” Ziva asked.

Gibbs reached out and took Tony’s hand, pulling it to his lips and dropping a kiss on it. “Tony’s been in a relationship with me since before Morrow left,” he told her. “We’ve decided to tell you this in confidence. Morrow knew. Shepard, well, we decided not to tell her, for all kinds of reasons.”

“Which was the right decision,” Tony pointed at Gibbs with his fork.

“Vance knows,” Gibbs continued, ignoring Tony.

“It’s why he refused to get me back after he sent me afloat,” Tony added, his mouth full of food. “The motherfucker.”

Ziva stared at them. Perhaps she was still drunk? Was this some kind of alcohol induced hallucination? “What?” she asked.

Gibbs sighed and exchanged a long suffering glance with Tony. “Tony and I are together.”

“In a non platonic way,” Tony added the clarification.

“I do not understand,” Ziva frowned. “You are… together?”

“Yup,” Gibbs grunted.

“Together _together_?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die, together,” Tony dimpled at her.

“This is a prank,” she could not wrap her brain around what she was hearing.

“No super glue is involved,” Tony grinned at her. “Just a shit ton of lube.”

“ _Tony_ ,” Gibbs rolled his eyes and grinned at him. “Shut up, unless you want to get kicked out of my bed for a week.”

“I could do a week,” Tony shrugged, although he reached across the table and grasped Gibbs’ hand.

“But do you _want_ to?”

Tony shook his head. “Never,” he said quietly, and his smile turned gentle, and tender, and loving. “Never.”

Ziva stared in amazement as Gibbs’ expression softened and he returned a smile that was filled with just as much love as Tony’s. Even though she could not believe it, it seemed to be true. Tony and Gibbs were romantically involved, and not in a casual way. She did not want to believe it, especially since now Gibbs had taken away her ‘in’ to be romantically involved with Tony and be part of his family unit. Why were they telling her this then?

“Are you telling me this so you can kick me off the team?” she asked.

“No one’s kicking anyone off the team,” Gibbs growled.

“Really?” Ziva could not believe the hope that was in her heart.

“Is there something wrong with the omelet?” Tony asked.

Ziva realized that she had stopped eating to await her sentence, but given what Gibbs had just said, she started eating again, and this time she could taste the nuances of what Tony had put in her food. He had gone out of his way to find her favorite cheese to add to her omelet. It was delicious and it hit the spot. “This is very good, Tony,” she complimented him.

“Thank you,” Tony blushed and grinned.

“Very,” Gibbs agreed, gifting Tony with a soft smile.

“When you say you are in a relationship…?” Ziva still felt as if she needed to hear it again, the nature of Gibbs and Tony’s involvement.

“It’s the let’s get naked and fuck each other stupid kind of thing,” Tony drawled.

“And be it for each other, for the rest of our lives,” Gibbs added.

Ziva stared at them, her mouth open. “But Tony is a womanizing… slut? Is he not?” Surely Gibbs would not stand to be cuckolded?

Tony laughed and laughed. “I try my best to act like one,” he chuckled.

“It’s his cover,” Gibbs muttered. “Morrow and Vance both decided to leave us on the team together, but only if I am impartial and neither of us flaunt our relationship at work.”

“Morrow said that to us years ago, so I decided that meant that I got to pretend to have tons of casual random and anonymous sex and be as obnoxious at trying to pick women up as I can,” Tony laughed. “It’s fun. You should try it.”

Ziva just stared at him. “So all those times you were being a swine…”

“Pig,” Tony interrupted, correcting her.

“It was not true? It was an act?”

“Nobody’s suspected that Gibbs and I aren’t anything but subordinate and boss,” Tony shrugged. “Works, doesn’t it?”

“But you are… together?” she asked yet again.

“I love Tony,” Gibbs answered. “I would marry him.”

“Is that you proposing, babe?” Tony grinned naughtily at him, even though his ears turned pink.

“You’ll know when I propose,” Gibbs rolled his eyes.

“How the fuck will I know? It’s not like you’re the chatty type.”

“I’d be on one knee, there’d be a ring, the words ‘will you marry me, you stupid asshole’ would be said. Out loud,” Gibbs smiled at Tony.

“You’d go down on one knee even though I’d have to pull you back up because your knee hurts?” Tony blinked innocently.

“Shut up before I stab you with my knife,” Gibbs muttered.

“See? It’s twue wuv,” Tony declared, looking at Ziva. “The romance will choke a guy.”

Ziva stared at him. “You love Gibbs?” she had to ask.

“More than I can put into words,” Tony blushed, and turned back to his food.

“Tony’s allergic to expressing his emotions verbally,” Gibbs took his hand again.

“Shut up,” Tony muttered, turning even brighter red.

“I cannot believe the irony in Gibbs saying that Tony cannot express himself with words,” Ziva breathed out.

Gibbs’ roar of laughter surprised her, and Tony kicked them both under the table, face still flaming, muttering about whether or not Gibbs would ever get him to cook breakfast again, and putting on a ban on sex. Gibbs only laughed louder.

“The point being,” Tony tried to talk over Gibbs, “that you don’t have to worry about your place on the team, or if Gibbs thinks I’m his favorite or not. None of what we have between us matters at work. This is something that pre-dates you being on the team. It pre-dates McGee, even Kate. We’ve been together a long time. Had ups and downs. But hopefully, no one can tell from our behavior at work.”

“What we are to each other in private does not affect how we are at work,” Gibbs agreed.

“You are keeping me on the team, even though I made advances on Tony last night?” Ziva asked.

“Last night wasn’t the first time, was it? So why hold it against you the one time?” Tony winked at her, although his tone was a good natured kind of teasing.

“I suppose…” That was why Ziva had not succeeded in seducing Tony. Not that being in a committed relationship meant that she could not have inserted herself like a wedge. She had destroyed several supposedly rock solid relationships as part of her assignments in the past. So what Tony and Gibbs had was strong, able to withstand years of secrecy and other issues.

“Besides, why would we rescue you and welcome you back on the team only to kick you out?” Gibbs asked her, his blue eyes serious. “Wasn’t lying last night. You’re family now.”

Tony nodded. “We take care of our own,” he agreed. “Now finish your breakfast. The rest of the team is coming over for a small Christmas celebration later today and we’ll get to watch _It’s a Wonderful Life_ and I’ll make my mom’s caramel corn.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes and snorted, and Tony blithely ignored him, continuing to babble on about other Christmas movies that he enjoyed.

Ziva smiled at them, allowing Tony’s chatter to soothe her soul. Even though she would probably still wonder if she was hallucinating or dreaming this, it seemed as if this conversation had settled something inside her. Perhaps she had found a new home after all. She did not have to compete for attention because she could tell that both men were sincerely happy she was there with them. That she really was a part of their family.

“I will not tell anyone about you,” she finally told them.

“Thank you,” Tony smiled at her. “It’s Vance’s stipulation for allowing us to still be on the same team.”

“Wouldn’t’ve told you if we didn’t trust you,” Gibbs added.

“Family takes care of each other, yes?” she asked.

“Oorah,” Gibbs intoned.

She nodded firmly. Assured of her place, as Gibbs’ daughter, and a member of his and Tony’s family. It was a good place to be, and even though this relationship of theirs surprised her, it also surprised her how right it felt, and how much it really did not surprise her that these two men were together. Theirs did not seem to be a conventional love, but it was love. They were the yin to the other’s yang. And best of all, they had welcomed her into their fold.

Eli David might be her biological father, but Gibbs was the father of her heart. The one she would always turn to when she was in trouble. And Tony? Well, she would have to figure out who he was to her now that she knew the truth about them, but she did know that Tony had come all the way to Somalia first to avenge her, and then rescue her. She would not let him down now. He was, irrevocably, her family, as well.

She sighed and continued to eat. She felt at peace with her place in the world now. She had a family, one who would not jerk her around or play games that affected her mind. She was home for the holidays now, and even if Eli never called her back, she would be fine. She had a place and people to belong to again. She had the love of a father.

She snuck a look at Tony, happily chatting away and Gibbs grunting responses every so often. Tony caught her looking and gave her a naughty wink.

Perhaps she had the love of a mother again, as well. She giggled to herself, imagining Tony’s reactions when she called him her mother. She would definitely have to wait and use it for the best effect. She scraped her dish clean, and was looking forward to the rest of her found family to arrive so they could begin their little family celebration of the holiday.

**Author's Note:**

> The song that I listened to (and started to dream about because I listened to it so much) was Cat Stevens' [Wild World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHXpnZi9Hzs&feature=youtu.be), which worked so well as an inspiration for this story, along with RPD's fabulous artwork. Go check out her [art post](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17000469) for this one and shower her with love! She totally deserves it!
> 
> One of the things that I love about working with RPD is that whether we start out with an idea or a picture or a song or a feeling, once the story starts coming together and the artwork is developed, we both make an effort to make the story and the artwork relevant to each other. It's not difficult to do on my end, because RPD always captures the feeling of the story in the artwork that she makes, but I do try to increase that connection as best I can because it only enhances the story and the overall combination of story and artwork. This kind of partnership is a gift, as is every piece of artwork that you make, so I thank you so much for this, RPD!
> 
> While we're talking about it, I just would like to keep thanking my darling, [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots) because without her, none of these holiday challenge stories would have been written. My muse has been incredibly fickle this year, and it had been quite difficult to wrangle her. However, the thought of partnering and collaborating with RPD was like catnip to the muse and she came through! I am also incredibly happy that RPD's muse wanted to come out to play as well. :D Thank you, my Elton. Working with you, and your friendship, is something that is dear to me and I cannot ask for anything more for Christmas. Joyeux Noël to you and yours, and an early bonne annee <3\. I love you!
> 
> That is also my way of saying that this is the last of the daily theme challenge stories that RPD and I worked on this year! :D But in 9 days, the NCIS SeSa stories will be unveiled so I hope that you will all read those and try to guess which of us wrote what!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed this! <3
> 
> -j  
> xoxo

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Art for It’s Hard to Get by Just Upon a Smile](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17000469) by [Red_Pink_Dots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Pink_Dots/pseuds/Red_Pink_Dots)




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